


my heart’s in overdrive (and you’re behind the wheel)

by blackkat



Series: Konoha 12 Drabbles [15]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bodysharing, Bodyswap, F/F, Friendship, Humor, M/M, Matchmaking, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-04
Updated: 2019-11-04
Packaged: 2021-01-22 13:15:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21302690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackkat/pseuds/blackkat
Summary: Kurama! Kurama, go right to baa-chan! Get to her or I'm going to smack you, believe it!“Ha,” Kurama mutters under his breath, and deliberately turns away from the hospital, heading for the market instead. “You're not in the driver’s seat right now, brat. Let’s see how you like it.”Kurama! Kurama, don’t you do anything—“Sorry, can't hear you,” Kurama says smugly, and drowns out Naruto's voice from his inner world with all the spite of twenty-three years spent watching his host shovel down a truly nauseating amount of ramen each day.
Relationships: Haruno Sakura/Yamanaka Ino, Hyuuga Hinata/Tenten, Kyuubi | Nine-tails | Kurama & Uzumaki Naruto, Nara Shikamaru/Uzumaki Naruto, Umino Iruka/Yamato | Tenzou
Series: Konoha 12 Drabbles [15]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1422214
Comments: 94
Kudos: 3170
Collections: ShikaNaru





	my heart’s in overdrive (and you’re behind the wheel)

**Author's Note:**

> For the prompt: Naruto and Kurama switch places au? I think it'd be funny to have a golden ball of sunshine as your conscience as you try to wreak havoc as the mysterious new red head jonin in town

“Hey,” Kurama says, maybe a little smugly, as he saunters through the front gate.

Izumo blinks at him, startled. Squints, pauses, and then casts an almost panicked look at Kotetsu next to him.

“Hi?” he says, and his voice squeaks.

Sitting up, Kotetsu yawns, then cracks an eye open and freezes. He stares at Kurama for a long, startled second, and then clears his throat. “Hey there,” he returns, and that tone sounds like he’s trying to be suave and instead just manages to sound like he’s losing his voice.

With a smirk, Kurama tosses them both a lazy wave and wanders into the village he once almost wrecked. It looks a lot bigger from this angle, and it honestly smells a lot better. Cocking his head, Kurama studies the streets and the flow of people along the road, and has to hold himself back from laughing out loud. Humans tend to notice that kind of thing.

_Kurama! Kurama, go right to baa-chan! Get to her or I'm going to smack you, believe it!_

“Ha,” Kurama mutters under his breath, and deliberately turns away from the hospital, heading for the market instead. “You're not in the driver’s seat right now, brat. Let’s see how you like it.”

_Kurama! Kurama, don’t you do anything—_

“Sorry, can't hear you,” Kurama says smugly, and drowns out Naruto's voice from his inner world with all the spite of twenty-three years spent watching his host shovel down a truly nauseating amount of ramen each day. He’s careful to let Naruto keep seeing what he’s seeing, though; there’s no fun in this if Naruto doesn’t know _precisely_ what he’s doing.

And, just in time, Kurama spots his first potential target coming up the street, carrying a massive bundle of wildflowers. Ino is humming cheerfully, not paying attention as she tries to juggle her load, and Kurama has to clear his throat loudly before she startles and comes to a stop, shifting blossoms out of the way so she can see him. As soon as she can, her eyes widen, and she takes a step back.

“Naruto?” she asks in surprise. “You died your hair?” A pause, and she cocks her head, looking him over thoughtfully. “It suits you.”

“Thanks,” Kurama says, and closes the distance between them, leaning in. He stares right at Ino for a long moment, and is more than able to see her blue eyes go even wider, a flush rise in her cheeks. _Perfect_.

“You know,” he says, and ignores Naruto's sudden screeching in the back of his head, “I always forget how cute you are.”

All at once, Ino turns bright red. “You _do_?” she says, voice cracking.

Kurama hums in agreement, drawing back. “It’s a shame Sakura's in love with you,” he says blithely. “Or I’d totally snap you up.”

There’s a long, long moment of stunned silence.

“Oh,” Ino says dazedly. She looks a little like she’s about to faint. Steps back, wavers, and says breathily, “Sakura? With _me_?”

“Sure,” Kurama says, and grins. “Ever since we were genin.” Pauses, and deliberately, deviously, adds, “Believe it.”

Naruto shrieks with pure, unbridled fury, and Kurama gleefully stuffs him back into one of the darker, mustier corners of his mind.

“Oh,” Ino says again, and she’s about as red as one of the roses she likes so much. “Sakura. Sakura's in love with me.” She swallows, and then abruptly shoves the flowers she’s carrying into Kurama’s arms. “Sorry, take these, I need to go!”

There’s barely even time for the shunshin to form before she’s gone.

Snickering, Kurama shifts the flowers to one arm, then cocks his head, concentrating. Naruto's chakra sense is shit, but he’s at least gotten a little better since he was a genin. And by the feel of it…

Well. This’ll take care of another pressing problem that’s been driving Kurama up the wall.

Turning left, he shoulders the flowers, tries out a whistle, and then decides that it’s too casual. He’s not really _trying_ to imitate Naruto, but there are definitely lines he isn't willing to cross.

_Noooooo_, Naruto wails in his head. _Kurama, what are you _doing_?_

“Sowing chaos, brat,” Kurama retorts. “The way you’ve been wanting to do for _years_.”

Naruto shrieks at him, wordless fury, and Kurama laughs.

Three streets over and one up, there’s another familiar figure. Yamato is browsing the sale rack outside the bookstore, looking faintly morose. He’s in uniform, even though today’s one of his days off, and that expression means Kakashi probably chased him out of the Hokage’s office when he slinked in to work even when he wasn’t supposed to. Kurama smirks, glee rising, and calls, “Yamato-taicho!”

Yamato glances up, expression lightening. “Naruto,” he says warmly. “You're back early from your mission. I like the hair.” He eyes the flowers, and then asks, “Helping the Yamanaka? Or did you clean out someone’s flowerboxes?”

“Helping Ino, since I'm around,” Kurama says, trying vaguely to sound offended, but he’s too gleeful about this part to put much effort into it. Offering Yamato the whole bundle, he says as brightly as he can manage, “These are for you.”

Yamato pauses, and Kurama’s never seen him at quite such a loss for words. “For _me_?” he asks, startled. “I—I think you have the wrong person, Naruto, you must have read the delivery instructions wrong—”

“Of course not,” Kurama scoffs, and dumps them in Yamato’s arms. “They're from Iruka-sensei. He said to give you all the wildflowers they had in stock.” Tipping his head, he adds thoughtfully, “I think he was drunk when he made the order. He said something about pinning and being tired of hiding his feelings.”

For a moment, Yamato just stares at him, arms full of flowers. Then, swallowing, he looks down at the bundle, and says a little hoarsely, “I love wildflowers. I—I think I told him that once. He remembered?”

“He must have,” Kurama says with a shrug, and sidesteps him. “Sorry, Yamato-taicho, more errands to run. Later!”

He leaves Yamato still staring at the gift as he trots down the street, turns the corner, and then slows to a walk, snickering to himself.

_Noo_, Naruto moans in his head. _Iruka-sensei! Iruka-sensei shouldn’t be dating guys with creepy faces! Iruka-sensei’s virtue is in _danger_, Kurama!_

Kurama rolls his eyes. “If you heard the rumors I did and think Iruka’s anything but a beast in the sack-—”

_LALALALALALA I CAN'T HEAR YOU WE’RE NOT TALKING ABOUT IRUKA-SENSEI’S LOVE LIFE BECAUSE HE DOESN’T HAVE ONE—_

“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” Kurama mutters, and turns towards one of the training grounds. “Fine, let’s change the subject.”

That sound might actually be a whimper. _Kurama, _don’t_, if people think that I'm doing this, they're going to kill me! And then you’ll be dead too!_

“I’ll be mildly inconvenienced,” Kurama retorts, rolling his eyes again. “Creature made of chakra, remember?” He glances up as he passes under a tangle of branches, following the sound of voices. “Besides, I’ve got maybe another hour before whatever that shithead did wears off, and I'm going to _enjoy_ it, brat. You can't stop me.”

Naruto groans, but Kurama doesn’t even pause. He ducks around a tree, catches a flash of silver out of the corner of his eye, and snatches a kunai from the air half a second before it can impale him.

There’s a laugh, warm and happy, and a moment later Tenten snags the weapon from his fingers. “Nice catch!” she says brightly. “Hi, Naruto!”

“Hey, Tenten,” Kurama says, and smiles back. It’s less difficult than it used to be, to like Tenten. She’s a lot like Mito, and knowing Naruto has made Kurama appreciate that in ways he hadn’t thought he could. Not that he’ll ever _say_ that. “Nice aim.”

Tenten beams. “It’s a new weighted kunai!” she says excitedly, and tips it to the light to show Kurama the seal engraved right above the point. “It’ll seal whoever I throw it at in a containment ward. Tsunade-sama helped me with it!”

“That’s great,” Kurama says, and then pauses, like he’s struggling to put something into words. Reaching up, he rubs the back of his neck, and then says, in Naruto's best sheepish voice, “Tenten, have you seen Hinata lately?”

Tenten cocks her head, frowning faintly. “Hinata?” she asks carefully. “No. Is everything all right?”

Kurama winces, Naruto's best overblown grimace in place. “Hiashi's getting pressured to put the Caged Bird Seal on her,” he says. “And she’s been spending a lot of time at Neji's grave.”

Instantly, Tenten's expression shifts into pained sympathy. “Oh no,” she says, and then casts a worried look at Kurama. “Does she—is she okay?”

“You were friends with Neji, right?” Kurama says, and uses Naruto's innocent puppy eyes to their full effect. “Do you think you can talk to her? I know Neji didn’t tell you everything, but…”

Tenten brightens faintly. “I can do that,” she says determinedly, and slides her kunai away, then pauses. “Are you sure she would want to talk to me?” she asks.

Considering the blinding crush she’s had on her cousin’s teammate since Naruto turned her down? She’ll probably spontaneously combust the first time Tenten smiles at her, but at the very least it will give her something to focus on besides her father being a dick.

“Yeah,” Kurama says sincerely. “I am absolutely sure she wants to talk to you.”

“Thanks, Naruto,” Tenten says warmly, and leans in, kissing him on the cheek. Pulling back, she winks and says, “I like the red hair.”

“Thanks,” Kurama says, bemused, and turns to watch her go. That’s six people taken care of, and hopefully all the aggravating pining and reek of hormones will be easier to manage now. They’ve been incredibly irritating, and all the ridiculousness that Naruto has to deal with hasn’t impacted _him_, but Kurama has been suffering. Suffering _greatly_, because somehow everyone comes to whine to Naruto when they're feeling down. Kurama’s sick of it.

Of Naruto's classmates, Chōji and Shino are both steady and self-sufficient. Shino's got Kiba, and Chōji seems to be wooing a girl from Kumo, so Kurama doesn’t feel the need to interfere there. Kakashi and one of his guards were _definitely_ screwing on the desk right before Naruto walked in the other day, even if the brat didn’t notice, so that’s also not a problem, thankfully. Sasuke's out wandering, and Sai’s following him, so good riddance to both and Kurama is of the opinion they deserve each other.

Of course, that leaves one other victim, and Kurama is absolutely going to relish this.

Naruto stays suspicious but silent as Kurama makes his way back through the village, taking a twisting, circuitous route just to keep Naruto in the dark about where they’re headed. He’s been holding off on interfering himself because he’s a coward about making people sad, Kurama knows. Thankfully, Kurama’s a lot less worried about things going badly. All of Naruto's classmates are in their twenties now; they can handle a little emotional upheaval if it’s in the name of making Kurama’s life easier.

It’s only when the Nara compound comes into view that Naruto realizes what’s happening.

_KURAMA_! The shout is almost deafening, loud enough that it echoes inside Kurama’s head and makes him grimace. _KURAMA DON’T YOU DARE YOU STUPID FOX, NO NO NO NO NO—_

“Put a fucking lid on it,” Kurama hisses, and slams the door between their minds.

It’s a glass door, of course. He wouldn’t want Naruto to miss this.

Marching up the steps of the Nara Clan Head’s house, he bangs on the door, then waits impatiently as there's a long, long pause. Finally, steps approach, and a moment later the door opens. Shikamaru raises a brow at him, dark eyes making one quick, thorough sweep of Naruto's body before he frowns.

“Naruto,” he says, straightening. “You look weird—”

Like hell Kurama’s going to give the genius enough time to figure it out. Leaning in, he kisses Shikamaru hard, swallowing the end of his sentence, and waits just long enough to feel Shikamaru kissing back before he gleefully bails out, letting go of his hold on Naruto's body.

There's a sharp _shift_ as Naruto gets shunted back into the driver’s seat abruptly, and Kurama lands back in the depths of Naruto's head in his own body. Perfectly pleased with himself, he flops down, and says pointedly, “You’re _welcome_.”

Naruto breaks the kiss just long enough to say, “Shut _up_, foxbreath,” before Shikamaru reels him back in, and Kurama laughs.

At last, _no more pining_. Kurama considers that well worth the trouble.


End file.
